Many students return from spring break with exhilarating accounts of their adventures in faraway lands. Others have worked ahead and learned course materials through their freshman year of college. Still others have completed daily triathlons or discovered the 119th element in the periodic table.
And then, there is me. Here’s a glimpse of how I spent that glorious fortnight:
Day One
My hopes are high, and my motivation is strong. This break will be the break: I will work hard and disprove all the cynics who proclaim, once a couch potato, always a couch potato.
Day Two
I lied. The cynics are right.
Day Three
Contrary to common belief, browsing through YouTube videos is a challenging task. If I lie down, my mother constantly reminds me of the havoc I am wreaking on my eyes. If I sit up, the physical exertion begins to overwhelm me, and I realize I would much rather be lying down.
Day Four
Sometimes, I wish Mr. Yanelli would send out an e-mail so I can confirm that Choate was not just a dream.
Day Five
Having become somewhat disillusioned with the constant cycle of doing nothing and doing nothing, I spend the course of today contemplating the meaning of life. I am suspicious that it might be a complicated issue.
Day Six
I believe that, at some point during these two weeks, I will come to the realization that the 152 pages of my reading assignment will not read themselves. This is unfortunate. What is also unfortunate is my lack of willpower to act upon that realization.
Day Seven
I stay in bed and watch Netflix.
Day Eight
I stay in bed and watch Netflix.
Day Nine
I stay in bed and watch Netflix.
Day Ten
Today, I decide to give existentialism a second chance. After all, if there is one thing Choate has taught me, it’s that no problem is too nuanced to be oversimplified.
I am pleased to announce that the meaning of life (and the universe, and everything) is, without a doubt, forty-two. This idea is most certainly original and not at all a rendition of the cliché that has been in popular use since the publication of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy in 1979.
Day Eleven
Who is Vicki LiPuma?
Day Twelve
What if productivity were relative? The less I work during break, in comparison, the more I work upon returning to school. So in a way, being lazy now will actually boost efficiency later.
Day Thirteen
I have reached the point in my life where filling out BuzzFeed quizzes seems a perfectly viable way to spend an afternoon. If you were wondering, I cannot tell the difference between Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber lyrics, my secret power is invisibility, and I am destined to stumble upon a useful coupon.
Day Fourteen
Alas, I am now traveling back to campus as yet another break has stumbled to a close. I feel some regret, but not to worry, the next break will be the break.
