In the first article of a series, Esul Burton ’16 begins her exploration of mental health at Choate by examining support systems.
While I was interviewing people for this series on mental health at Choate, I was struck by how diverse the viewpoints regarding the issue were. Almost no one was on the same page about our support systems at Choate, but despite those differences in opinion, the general consensus still seems to be that these systems have room for improvement.
“I got a feeling of faux-interest,” said Elena Turner ’17, who sat in her room in McCook recollecting an experience with a counselor at the Pratt Health Center. “In the end, I was the one who solved my own problem. I didn’t trust the counselors with the information they needed to help me. I’ve tried the Assessment Team, and all these other things — they lack power. The only support system here is a self-made one.”
On the other hand, alumnus David Labonte ’15 had positive experiences with his counselor. He found his counseling sessions to be comfortable and helpful, and acknowledged that in addition to fellow students. “Choate faculty understand the stress that students are under day in and day out,” he vowed.
These two students also represent a microcosm of the ways students perceive support systems at Choate.
Turner is one of almost 500 students who have gone to counseling at some point the past year.
She began to see a counselor at the health center during her freshman spring to deal with panic attacks and issues relating to her identity, but her subsequent experiences with her counselor discouraged her from continuing to seek professional help at Choate. Turner said she was misunderstood and felt that her issues were something that she needed to hide.
Like Turner, many present and prior students believe that an institutionally-based support system is not fully adequate.
Jerri Norman ’17, a leader of the Choate Diversity Student Association’s Mental Health Campaign, ruled the health center out of the equation entirely.
“I personally wouldn’t go to the health center if I had a problem. I would feel more comfortable going to a teacher or a faculty member whom I trusted, or even a friend.”
Lanie Schwartz ’16 admitted that Choate is surprisingly unsupportive as her support systems existed only in the form of her friends. She recalled an incident that occurred her sophomore year when she was in a “very volatile relationship,” and her friends brought it to the attention of some faculty members. Despite the nature of her friends’ concerns, however, Schwartz recalled, “Not a single teacher spoke to me about it.”
Some alumni are more supportive of the institutional resources available. Alumna Sitara Zoberi ’15 was satisfied with the counseling services she received at Choate, despite her initial hesitation, and noted that the counselors could support students in ways that a friend-based support system couldn’t. “I am open with my friends, but there are certain things that are hard to tell them, because they don’t know how to help. I’ve been both the suffering and the helpless. Both suck, but the counselors are professionals. Reaching out to someone who has dedicated his or her life to helping people like you can change your life.”
Some alumni questioned the security of the friend-based support system. Alumna Courtney Cook ’15 remarked, “In terms of adults and other authority figures, yes, we have a support system. Among students, no. We don’t create an environment that aids one’s mental health.”
Cook believes that Choate provides a competitive environment that is detrimental to students’ self-esteem. She continued, “My peers made fun of students who got good grades and labeled them ‘try-hards’ rather than celebrating them in their academic success. I’m a perfectionist, and this environment was toxic and hard to adjust to for me. How could I learn to love myself for not being the “best” when I felt that my peers wouldn’t accept me for who I am?”
In contrast, faculty and staff members on campus tend to see the support system as a robust network that students can rely on. Ms. Nancy Miller, the fourth form girls’ dean, explained, “It starts in the dorm. Certainly, the advisers are part of the support system, the dean is part of the support system, and the health center is probably the largest component of the support system. I also think that students reach out to friends as well when they need support. Sometimes a kid has a wonderful relationship with a teacher that will allow her to talk to the teacher about something that is troubling her.”
Similarly, Mr. Will Morris, Associate Dean of Students and Director of Residential Life, described Choate’s support system as something that should be akin to the kind of support that students often find at home. “I think it’s very important that students feel connected to the social network and to the community of peers and adults, because those relationships are where students develop a sense of belonging and a sense of connection, which is so important to good mental health.”
The sheer variety of opinions on the existing support system at Choate begs the question: Is there any consistency in how Choate supports its students, and what can we do to provide consistent and equal support?
There are barriers that stand in the way of consistency. Many of them have to do with student-counselor incompatibility, students’ fears of attending counseling sessions, a general societal aversion to talking about mental health, and the stress that results from any academically competitive environment.
Perhaps Tomi Lawal ’16 addressed the consistency of a support system best. He said, “I think that there is a support system. I don’t think it takes the same form for every student, though. Something they tell you is to find your support system, but you’re assuming there’s an ideal of what that is. I don’t know what might be the best support system, or even if there should be a best form.” However, “Having someone who is older and wiser is the least that anyone could really ask for.”
