Last week, I examined support systems for mental health at Choate and varying perspectives of students, faculty, and other community members. This week, I explore a factor that many on campus cite as detrimental to mental health: competition, inside and outside the classroom.
Over the course of four weeks, I interviewed almost a dozen people — students, faculty, staff, and alumni — for this series. Their opinions on mental health at Choate were disparate; many interviewees were skeptical, while others were more optimistic. However, they were almost unanimous in stating that the competition and stress at Choate are not conducive to good mental health.
Hadalee Goodman ’17, a President of the Mental Health at Choate club, remarked, “I feel like the focus here at Choate is pulling ahead of everyone else and working as hard as you can. Things such as sleep, which are important to health, are not as prioritized because we’re focusing so much on our academics and extracurricular activities.”
Though she has not experienced any competition at Choate directly, she said, “I definitely feel that there are people who compete with each other, in a respectful way or otherwise, and I think you can only keep it for so long. There’s a certain point when the constant competition will get to you, and you can’t handle it anymore. And that point may not happen at Choate, and it may not happen in college or the workplace — but our state of mental health at Choate can really set the tone for us when we’re farther down the road.”
Courtney Cook ’15 remarked, “Students compete with each other by sleeping less and working more for better grades, tossing a healthy mentality to the side.”
Cook previously expressed disappointment with the peer-based support structures — she believes a lack of support among friends and fellow students created an unhealthy environment. “I remember someone asked me, ‘So why are you here? What’s your special thing?’ and when I was confused, he replied, ‘Everyone here has his or her own thing.’ Not having a special attributed seemed to make me inadequate. I couldn’t appreciate that I was pretty good in most subjects and sports, because that didn’t give me recognition among my peers,” recalled Cook.
Cook believes that Choate’s competitive ethos was a primary reason that she developed an eating disorder and depression during her sophomore year and why she eventually started seeing a counselor and psychiatrist during her junior year.
Fellow alumna Sitara Zoberi ’15 echoed, “Choate is the type of place where you always have to be doing something, either socially or academically. It’s almost subtly looked down upon to take care of yourself and just chill out,” she said. “Choate brainwashes you into thinking that the quality of your life is directly proportional to the ranking of the institution which awards your undergraduate degree. It’s an environment that fosters feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness if you can’t keep up with the high academic excellence and social involvement.”
David Labonte ’15 disagreed with these opinions to a certain extent. While he doesn’t deny that Choate fosters a competitive environment, he still believes that students tend to support each other. “In the classroom, Choate students can be competitive with schoolwork and grades, but outside of class and in the dorm is where I formed friendships that helped ease the stress of classes,” he remarked.
However, a competitive environment still took a toll on Labonte’s mental health. Like Cook, he went through a period of depression his freshman and sophomore year. He reflected, “I wanted to try and enjoy my time at Choate, but I felt as though I was hurried and bogged down with the idea of getting into college.”
This feeling of lacking time was something that Martha Zhang ’16 also mentioned. She said that before taking medical leave last spring, she felt “motivated to like myself based on my grades or based on how a teacher perceived me.” During medical leave, “The separation from Choate gave me space, and I finally had time to reflect. There was mental clarity. I was more self-motivated after.”
The concern regarding the degree of competition in Choate’s environment is not limited to students. Ms. Judith Bender, the Associate Director of Counseling, remarked, “What I worry about on a day-to-day basis here is that this place is so competitive. How does that interfere with our ability to really be together?”
She added, “Does competition interfere with students’ ability to really be close to each other and cheer on a friend who gets the spot when you don’t?” Ms. Bender cited the Assessment Team application process as an example of a competitive environment, mentioning that it was often difficult to limit the number of positions because of the inevitable disappointment some students would feel when denied a place on the team.
In contrast, Mr. Will Morris, Associate Dean of Students and Director of Residential Life, noted the advantages to a competitive environment. “I think that at times competition can be motivating, so I don’t know that a world that is competitive is a world where it is difficult to thrive or feel success,” he said. “That drive that you see in so many of our students, whether it is internally motivated or motivated by some of those competitive forces, is something we celebrate.”
However, he recognized that competition can be a double-edged sword. “There is a balance that you need to strike. We don’t want to be such a hyper-competitive environment where students feel like they are isolated from one another.”
Competition doesn’t only affect individuals’ mental health; it also fuels many of the existing stigmas surrounding mental health on campus. Regardless of whether they need to access counseling services or not, Choate students are often reluctant to reveal any issues they have with their mental health because they fear that they will be seen as less competent.
Cook said, “I told very few people about how I was seeing a counselor, since that can be seen as a sign of weakness or defeat.” The competition and its resulting stigma make it difficult for many members of the community to have an open dialogue concerning mental health. Jerri Norman ’17, a leader of CDSA’s Mental Health Campaign, said, “I think it’s hard to know whether or not you should ask for help, and that keeps people puzzled about whether their stress levels are large enough to talk to someone about.”
Zoberi agreed, believing that any community that cares about the mental well-being of each individual must have ongoing conversations about mental health.
Ms. Bender emphasizes that Dr. Diamond and the health center staff seek to create a “safe space” in both the counseling office and the health center. She commented, “We do consult to the deans as well as faculty our impressions of competition, high levels of stress, and the impact of a demanding lifestyle of kids.” She cites sophomore seminar as a place “where we address these concerns.”
As Labonte remarked, “While I love Choate and consider myself forever true, I think that Choate has a long way to go before it has an environment that is conducive to good mental health.”
