It’s common to hear the term “self-care” amongst conversations of superficial yet feel-good activities, such as face masks, spa days, and general indulgence. Although these activities certainly make up a part of self-care, the truly meaningful exercises that exist at the root of the concept are often not included in the discussion. Despite the instant gratification a face mask might bring, self-care should not be mistaken for self-indulgence.
In recent years, social media has made the word “self-care” palatable enough to be considered trendy. Too often it is used to justify not fulfilling responsibilities or immediately giving up when the slightest feeling of overload hits. Or, the word is simply used to refer to beauty products, as nothing but a marketing tool to pander to those seeking a less stressed version of themselves.
But how can one grow by giving up? While sometimes needed, this weakness we now call “self-care” does not change behavior or mindset, the ultimate goal of productive self-improvement. Self-care culture becomes toxic when it is used as an excuse to find shortcuts that reinforce toxic habits, biding time while neglecting the root of the bigger emotional health issue.
In its rawest form, self-care is not always easy or pleasant. In fact, in my experience, the most truly effective forms of self-care require enormous amounts of time, commitment, and reflection. It means having uncomfortable and difficult conversations with yourself and with others not only to determine what factors of your mental health can be improved upon, but to find realistic strategies for accomplishing those goals. Often, self-care exists outside of physical objects, manifesting itself as a change either in perspective, friend group, or habit. Finding peace with your past, present, and future selves is the true reward of self-care — this self-reflection just can’t be achieved with a nap or a self-proclaimed “no homework night.”
There is absolutely no shame in taking breaks. But, I urge you: When engaging in indulgent, short-term forms of self-care, bear in mind that it is not always an inherent step forward if it becomes an excuse that only drives you deeper into the black hole of mental uneasiness. Self-improvement isn’t supposed to come easily, and superficial self-care culture offers a convenient way to procrastinate the more formidable aspects of the process. So, the next time you’re considering just going to sleep instead of pushing through that last chapter of The Odyssey, I encourage you to reconsider your options: which one is simply a crutch for a larger problem, and which one will help you in the long run?
